Why me..?

Claire Bunny Butler has come to the conclusion that if they say "I'm normal...not like some of the weirdos you get on here" they're invariably one of the weirdos you get on here.
25 February at 22:58

Claire Bunny Butler Lynne, have you still got the profile number of that weird guy you found? I think I'm on to something...

25 February at 22:58

So here's my story...

I gave up on dating sites ages ago, but kept my profile and set it to friendship only. {That's significant.} I'd been ignoring most of the messages {yeah, whatever...tell me you haven't}, until this one guy came along that grabbed my attention.

I made it clear from the start I wasn't currently looking for a relationship, but that he'd sounded like fun and that's why I had replied. He made all the right noises, and I was confident he understood where I was coming from.

Wrong!

I'd enjoyed the chat that evening, so I thought I'd invite him over to meet the Facebook Gang. I explained that I spent most evenings wall-hopping and he was welcome to join in. He agreed, and sent me a friend request.

First night he seems more interested in my photos {understandable} and we have a little natter {all good}. He goes to bed early, and tells me we will chat the following evening {OK!} and I tell him I'll probably be around chatting with the Usual Suspects anyway.

The following evening arrives. He pops up. We chat a little. I go make myself a cuppa, and while I'm there I put some washing in, go to the loo as you do...I come back to "How many cups are you making?" so I have a laugh with him, thinking he was joking.

Wrong!

I let it pass. Then he says "right, shall we get to why we're actually here?" "Err...okay...give me a clue?" So he starts firing questions at me: how tall, what size, where exactly do I live "roughly in miles you don't have to be specific, just so I know if it's worth persuing" and all this in the same chat message!

I answer him, out of politeness really. Then I suggest maybe we just "chill?" "OK" he says, "Why don't you tell me what qualities you are looking for in a man, and I'll be able to tell you if we are compatible?" wtf?

"Erm, I look for Friendship :o) !"

So then I hint that it's maybe a tad too 'clinical' this way "maybe it's more fun to get to know people as you go along :o) ?" "Oh OK, I understand. Why don't I start by telling you my faults then", and he did. All in the same chat message.

I have an urge to break something, followed by a sudden rush of gratitude for the anonimity the internet provides me. I take a deep breath, and once again explain my position "I am NOT looking for a partner. I'm only here for the banter. Yes of course I hope, like everybody else, one day I will meet The One, BUT"pay attention now, this bit's important "I don't have a deadline or a bloody checklist!" then under my breath "..and it sure as hell ain't gonna be YOU, you freak!"

So I finally admit defeat, and figure the only way out is to play the game and suggest "maybe we're not meant to be after all?" I tell him he's welcome to hang around JUST AS A FRIEND if he wants to. "Well I don't know. I'm too tired to make a decision like that tonight. I'll sleep on it and let you know tomorrow"

OK pal. "Night then ;o) !"

Claire Bunny Butler

Wall Photos
And just like that...he's gone!
by: Claire Bunny Butler

25 February at 22:58

2 0 1 0 * C A L E N D A R

Here's a free 2010 pocket calendar for you to print-out and keep. It's my way of saying Happy New Year!

You will need:
* 2010 calendar template
* A4 paper
* Card (cereal box)
* Decorative paper
* Embellishments

Step 1: Print out the calendar template onto A4 paper

Step 2: Before cutting out, fold between blue dotted lines. This will divide your A4 sheet into 12 sections. Now cut out Calendar around grey border.

Step 3: Starting between January & August, cut along fold through 3 of the 4 sections. Turn and cut between December & May (see pic).

Step 4: Glue the back of February to the back of March, then glue the back of April to the back of May, and so on until you have glued all the pages, leaving the first and last page a single thickness.

Step 5: Cut out a cover from card using the template as a guide. Decorate, then glue January to the inside front, leaving a 3mm border around outside edge (see picture). Glue December to the back.

S K I T T L E S * V O D K A

I thought I would share this Christmas pressie make, now it's in the lucky recipient's possession (actually it's probably all gone by now), as these Skittles Vodka bottles make a great all-year-round gift. They are incredibly easy to make too. If you're wanting to give it a try, here's the quantities I used, and 'something-you-should-know' before you start.

You will need:
* 70cl Vodka
* 195g Fruits Skittles
* 3 x empty plastic bottles
* funnel
* 3 x paper coffee filters
* 3 x small bottles (20cl)
* Labels & embellishments

Something-you-should-know: I found that, although the Vodka took on the flavour of the orange Skittles it did not take the colour, so I recommend you discard this flavour and stick with Lime, Lemon & Berry flavours as I have done.

Step 1: Seperate the Skittles into 3 piles: greens, yellows, reds & purples, and discard all the orange ones (yes, you can eat them).

Step 2: Measure out equal quantities of Vodka between three plastic bottles (such as empty squash bottles), and drop one pile of the seperated Skittles into each one.

Step 3: Wait. Shake. Wait. Shake. Repeat for approx. 24 hours, or until all the Skittles have dissolved.

Step 4: Filter the Vodka through the coffee filter papers into the Small Bottles (if you don't have these then 2-3 layers of strong kitchen roll works just as well).

Step 5: Add a Label and embellishments. I would strongly recommend that you add the Alc % to the label so the recipient is aware this is pure Vodka

B A U B L E * P I Ñ A T A

With only four days to go until the Big Day, I've had to step the Christmas crafting up a notch or two in attempt to meet all targets. So, yesterday I had my two "I'm bored" echo machines making decorations, while I cracked on with the still-too-long gift list.

And apparently there is a God, because when it came to gluing on the lids of these baubles I had a 'ping' moment. It struck me that the large cavity was screaming out to be filled, so I had them stuff it full of sweets while I ticked another gift off the list. Result!

You will need:
* Old Christmas cards
* Scissors & Glue
* Ribbon
* Sweets

To Make:

Step 1: Using this template, cut out 20 circles from old* Christmas cards

click to enlarge

Step 2: Score and fold along triangle lines

Step 3: Glue 5 circles together to form base as shown

Step 4: Glue 10 circles together in a long strip as shown, then glue around base

Step 5: Glue 5 remaining circles together for lid, at the same time attach ribbon between 2 of the circles to make a loop for hanging

Step 6: Fill cavity with sweets or small gifts , then glue lid to top


* I would like to reassure friends & family that none of this year's cards were sacrificed for this project, honest!

J I G S A W * W R E A T H

What do you do with a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle that only has 999 pieces? Make a Christmas Wreath of course!

This quick & easy kids' project takes advantage of the green backing of the jigsaw, so only a bit of glitter glue and sequins is needed to produce a very pleasing result.

You will need:
* Old jigsaw puzzle pieces
* Glue
* Glitter
* Sequins
* Ribbon
* Small plate

Step 1: Using the plate as a template, lay one row of jigsaw pieces around the rim

Step 2: Glue a second layer of jigsaw pieces on top of the first, overlapping the pieces to hold your wreath together

Step 3: Decorate with glitter glue & sequins and a ribbon bow

Step 4: Glue a length of ribbon or cord to the back to make a loop for hanging

Thanks to my daughter's Brownie group for this great project!

P Y R A M I D * B O X

There's plenty of templates out there for making Pyramid Boxes, but personally I find them a lot of faffing around when you have lots to make this time of year. So I came up with this quick and easy way to make mine, and thought I'd share. Do return the favour and leave me a comment if you like it.

Don't forget to
F O L L O W * T H I S * B L O G

You will need:
* 2 sheets contrasting scrapbook paper
* Card (cereal box)
* Cord or ribbon
* Embellishments
* Imagination!

Step 1: Cut out a square from card. For best results, this should be no bigger than 1/3rd the width of your paper. The smaller the square, the taller your Pyramid will be.

Step 2: If your scrapbook paper isn't already square, cut it to shape.

Step 3: Starting with the outside paper, fold it in quarters as shown, and glue the cardboard square in the centre, matching the corners to the creases (see pic)

Step 4: Cut along creases up to the corners of the cardboard base (red line). Now fold each side into a point (blue arrow) and glue down. If you've used a small cardboard base you may need to trim a little from each side so they don't overhang.

Step 5: Using this folded piece as a template, lay onto second scrapbook paper with wrong-sides together, and mark at corners of base as shown. Join these marks with a rular so you have a square to use as a guide.

Step 6: Cut your second paper to the corner marks and fold & glue as before. Now glue wrong-sides of both pieces together.

Closing your box
Here is where you will need your imagination! I've made 3 variations, but the possibilities are endless. Do leave me a link to your blog entries when you comment, so I can see what you come up with.

Tall Box:
(6x6" scrapbook sheets with 4cm base)
Using the box as a template, I've made a 'lid' that sits on top and holds it closed. Cord attached to two corners is threaded through a hole in the top so it can be hung from the tree.

Maroon Box:
(6x6" scrapbook sheets with 6cm base)
Here I have added eyelets to each side and threaded cord through, attaching the tag to the cord before tying in a bow

Snowflake Box:
(6x6" scrapbook sheets with 6cm base)
I've attached a long length of cord to opposite corners to form a loop, and 2 shorter lengths to the remaining corners, then threaded all through a pony bead and tied the shorter cords in a bow.

P U D D I N G * T A G S

Do you like my super-duper black gift ribbon? Yes, it's a cut-up bin liner! I thought it coordinated beautifully with the cheap-as-chips wrapping paper I bought today, and my quick-and-easy gift tag adds the perfect finishing touch. I think. Would you like one?

You will need:
* Neoprene in dark brown & white
* Green 4mm gift ribbon
* 3 red beads
* Gold cord

Step 1: Cut out the shapes and punch a hole in the top of both pieces

click to print

Step 2: Thread green gift ribbon through holes and tie in a knot, securing the gold cord at the same time

Step 3: Stick on 3 red beads, and you're done!

These tags are easy enough for the kids to make, and give great results every time. I use a white marker pen to write on the back of mine, but gold works just as well.

G I F T * B O X

I was asked to make a box for a Christmas present recently, so thought I'd photograph the process to post on here if it turned out ok. Thankfully it did! Unfortunately I can't show you the contents just in case the recipient is watching, so you will just have to use your imagination for that bit.

You will need:
* strong card
* contrasting decorative papers
* strong glue
* embellishments of your choice

Step 1: Measure the item and make a template. I made mine on the pc but you could use graph paper just as effectively. For the lid template, add 5mm to your box base (2.5mm each side) and reduce the depth of the sides. I made mine 2cms deep so plenty of the box is showing when the lid is on. I have not included glue tabs on the template as I find this makes the finished corners too bulky. We will be using the decorative paper to hold everything together instead.

Step 2: Draw round your template onto thick card and cut out with a craft knife. Score along fold lines and bend to set shape.

Step 3: Glue the uncut Lining paper to the inside of the box on the base only, leaving the sides unglued for now. Trim round the paper as shown.

Step 4: Glue the uncut Outer paper to the outside on the base only, leaving the sides unglued for now. Trim round the template as shown, leaving one glue tab at each corner, and a small margin round the top of the box for folding over later.

Step 5: Fold up the sides of the box and glue the Outer paper in place to hold corners together (remember to leave an opening when glueing the first side to allow for the last glue tab, see picture)

Step 6: When all Outer sides have been glued, fold top edge over to inside and glue down. Now glue the Lining to the sides to finish.

Step 7: Do the same for the Lid and add embellishments of your choice.

I used a coordinating velvet-like material for the lid of this box to add contrasting colour and texture, then finished with velvet ribbon, a button and feathers. If you wish to cover your box lid with a thicker material then I would recommend adding a little extra to your lid template to allow for the extra thickness.

M I N I * S T O C K I N G

Here's my humble offering for Our Craft Shop's decoration swap. It's not what I had originally planned to make...that one went a bit squiffy...and I really wanted to use this combination of fabric & ribbon, so...a scaled- down stocking it is. I'm actually quite pleased with the end result, and plan to make a few more for my own tree. Eventually. Here's the template and instructions if you're feeling inspired:

click to print

You will need:
* scraps of fabric for boot
* scrap of satin for top
* small quantity of stuffing
* 1.5cm ribbon
* 7mm ribbon
* small length of cord for hanging

Step 1: Using the template cut out 2 boot shapes

Step 2: With right sides together, sew round outside leaving opening at top

Step 3: Turn right way out, fold over top edge to inside and slip-stitch down

Step 4: Lightly stuff, then cover top with satin and tuck inside boot. Slip-stitch in place (see pic)

Step 5: I sewed 1.5cm ribbon around top, then 7mm just below. Use your imagination here to make your stocking unique

Step 6: Attach ribbon or cord to top of boot for hanging

S A N T A * B O O T S

Abbreviations:
inc1 increase by working 2 stitches in next stitch
k knit
psso pass slipped stitch over
sl1 slip specified number of stitches over without working

You will need:
* small quantity of DK in black
* white eyelash wool or other fluffy yarn
* 3.5mm knitting needles
* small gold buckle or button

Boot (from base):
Using black, cast on 22sts

Row 1: knit
Row 2: k1, inc1, k7, inc1, k2, inc1, k7, inc1, k1 (26sts)
Row 3: k2, inc1, k8, inc1, k2, inc1 k8, inc1, k2 (30sts)
Row 4: k2, inc1, k9, inc1, k4, inc1, k9, inc1, k2 (34sts)
Row 5: k3, inc1, k10, inc1, k4, inc1, k10, inc1, k3 (38sts)
Row 6: k3, inc1, k11, inc1, k6, inc1, k11, inc1, k3 (42sts)
Row 7: k4, inc1, k12, inc1, k6, inc1, k12,inc1, k4 (46sts)
Row 8-17: knit
Row 18: k18, (sl1, k1, psso) 5 times, k2, sl1, turn
Row 19: K11, sl1, turn
Row 20: k3, (sl1, k1, psso) 3 times, k3, sl1, turn
Row 21: k10, sl1, turn
Row 22: k4, (sl1, k1, psso) 2 times, k4, sl1, turn
Row 23: as row 19
Row 24-27: repeat last 2 rows twice
Row 28: k4, (sl1, k1, psso) 2 times, knit to end (30sts)
Row 29-38: knit

~ change to white for Trim ~

Row 39-41: knit
Cast off

Make Up:
Sew seam using loose ends. Sew gold buckle or button to front (see pic). Attach loop to back for hanging on tree, or alternatively use tree hooks.

S A N T A * H A T S

These Santa Hats are just the right size to hold a bag of gold chocolate coins, and make a novel alternative to the traditional Christmas stocking.

Don't forget to
F O L L O W * T H I S * B L O G

Abbreviations:
ch = chain or stitch
sc = single crochet or slip stitch
tbl = treble
tbl2tog = work specified number of stitches together

NOTE: commence all rounds with 3ch for first treble, and close all rounds with sc in first tbl

You will need:
* small quantity of DK in red
* small quantity of white eyelash wool
* 3.5mm crochet hook
* chocolate coins or small gifts to fill


Hat (from tip):
Using red make loop in yarn and work 5tbl in loop, sc to first tbl to form round. Pull loop tight to close end and continue as follows:

Rounds 1-7: tbl to last ch, work 3tbl in last ch (15sts at R7)
Round 8: (4tbl,work 2tbl in next ch) 3 times
Round 9: (5tbl, work 2tbl in next ch) 3 times

Continue increasing in this way until you have 27sts

Round 12: 1tbl, work 2tbl in next ch, 5tbl, tbl2tog, 10tbl, tbl2tog, 5tbl, work 2tbl in last ch.
Rounds 13-14: as R12

~ change to white eyelash wool ~

Rounds 15-16: tbl in every ch. Fasten off.

Bobble:
Make loop in yarn and work 10tbl into loop, sc to first tbl to form round and pull loop tight to close end. Work 1 more round of tbl. Fasten off. Fill with a marble or other round weight if you have it, or stuffing (scraps of the same yarn works well), then thread loose end through sts and gather up tight to form bobble. Attach to tip of hat.

Hanging Loop:
Using red make 30ch ring. Fasten off and attach to top of Hat using loose ends.

Alternatively, hang from tree using decoration hooks.

B I R D * F E E D E R

Spare a thought for our feathered friends during the cold spell with this quick and easy kids' project.

You will need:
* Pine Cones
* String
* Peanut Butter
* Dried fruit, nuts or bird seed

Tie a long length of string to the top of the pine cone. Squish peanut butter between the scales of the cone, then push dried fruit & nuts into the gaps. If using bird seed you can simply roll the cone over the seads so they stick.